This is Erin by the way...

I'm bored, and thought I would write. This isn't my blog I know, but I can't remember my password for my previous blog, and Dennis already has his saved on his computer...shhh, he never checks this anyway =)

So I saw Click tonight. Very "It's A Wonderful Life"-ish. Both Tommy and Dennis liked it (I think more for Kate Beckinsdale in little boy shorts than anything), and it made me well up a bit. It basically plays out this guy's life and how he fast forwards through the whole thing and misses his kids growing up, he gets a divorce without even knowing it, and he wasn't even there for his dad dying. It just made me think of how much in life we take for granted, and how much LIFE I have yet to live. It's scary and exciting all in one. I started thinking about kids and elementary school and vacations and....then I had to slow down and realized I was doing exactly what the movie preached against. Looking to the future and seemingly the "best parts" of life, and not appreciating what I have now, which is everything.

People argue differently. I have never truly realized how differently until I started seeing Dennis. He and I have a completely different view on how to argue or more specifically, on how to deal with anger. He's laid back, more "why get upset over it if it's not going to fix it? Just get over it and move on, because all you're doing is getting yourself upset and then me upset." I'm definitely more "I need a release, I need that quick spout of anger, and then I'm good." But if that spout of anger is dismissed or quieted, it just builds up and comes up later. Do you think that's more personality type or just the difference between the sexes? Talk amongst yourselves.

The wedding is fast approaching. I don't know how I would've lasted if we would have pushed it to next year. Planning a wedding is no small feat. It takes your time, energy, and every dose of patience that you have in you. But every few seconds or hours or days, I just stop and wonder at the whole thing. I found him, and we're doing it. The big W. It's happening just like I thought it would, but had given up on only a year ago. Quite a few of my girlfriends are engaged as well. I know, so young, but it just happened that way. And we met up for drinks the other day, talking about how it happened to each one of us, and nobody was looking for it. Nobody was pursuing a guy or a relationship or anything like that. It just happened. I need to take that lesson and apply it to the rest of my life. Of course motivation and hard work is important to get you anywhere, but a lot of times, I work too much or think about it too much, and for the most part, both of those solutions have failed me. A little reminder for myself when I tuck myself in for the night and my mind starts whirring.

I should go. I left the bar early to go to bed, and now I'm sitting up on this thing, blogging. I used to keep a pretty consistent blog, but then I was always busy or talking it out with someone. I apologize to all of you who view this as a breach of privacy or were hoping for a blog from Dennis. If anyone wishes to have him post, just send him a comment and he might get back into the swing of things. Thank you for your time and good night to all.

Erin Kathleen

A dream re-visited.

So when I was in highschool, all I wanted to do was be on stage. To accomplish that, I was in every concievable choir, every band, and every musical I could be in. I spent a lot of my highschool career on stage. Then I graduated, which didn't end things, I still did 3 more shows, was in a choir, and was in Celebration twice. Now, I do nothing. I don't sing, I don't dance, I don't direct, I work at a freakin' game store.

Something went terribly wrong.

I am not sure what switched off for me, mabye it was just a realization that I am not good enough to do this kinda thing. Maybe I thought after all those years I still needed to do more. Maybe I sold myself short because I never took a regular voice lesson. Whatever the reasoning, I stopped doing theater.

I went and saw Miss Saigon tonight. It was pretty phenomenal. I was pretty moved actually. There were some things that went wrong, some bad singing, but all in all it was really fun to watch. The girl who played Kim was amazing. All in all I really enjoyed the show.

Until I realized, that should be me. I should be on stage pouring my heart out every night. Then I started to think about it, there really is no good reason why I don't still perform. I could do community theater still, but I don't. I could be in a choir, but I am not. I could be doing anything at all, but I sit on my lazy ass and dream. I don't want to be a game store manager all my life. I want to be something better, I want to be a performer. This is probably the only dream I had when I was younger, to be on stage and move people the way music moves me. Somewhere down the line, I gave up on that dream. I don't care anymore, I am trying again...

I move into this new place in April, a place with a workout facility. I am going to work out at least 3 times a week, the goal, to drop at least 20 pounds of fat or at least convert it to good muscle mass. I am going to start taking voice lessons, the first time ever. I am going to go back to dance classes. I am going to make up a resume, and audition for everything. I am going to get another job and when that insurance kicks in, I am getting invisalign braces to take care of my gnarly teeth. In the next year I want to be a finely tuned musical instrument.

Anybody who knows me, knows I talk a lot of big game, and I never back it up. I think I can really do it this time, this is my dream, not just some hope that I have to better myself, this is it for me. I want people to see a side of me I haven't displayed in almost 3 years. I want my friends to see me do this, I want my parents to see me do this, I want my girlfriend to know a side of me she has never seen before.

I want to be the best.

That is all for now...

Dennis Lynn

New news on the job front...

I think I may have actually found a better job for me...

As a relay operator for the hearing impaired!!!

I know what you're thinking. WHY LEAVE THAT GAME JYORB?!?!? Here's why:

* they aren't gonna pay for school
* I get paid a decent salary, but I work way too much
* My district manager is bi-polar

So instead, if i get this job at the relay which i should, I am going to:

* get paid basically the same amount that i am right now
*only work 40 hours a week MAX
* get money to go to school, that's right they pay for school
* work at a job that is 1.2 miles away from where I am moving at the end of the month

Lets not forget I will get even better benefits plus 2 weeks vacation after 3 months, paid sick leave, and 4 floating holidays.

I think I have found my temporary match till I get my degree.

Genious.

Ok, on to my life. My life basically consists of work and spending time with Erin. I work about 50-60 hours a week at my current job, still loving video games. I have a 360 now so that occupys any remaining free time.

Erin and I are in a great place. We are clicking more now than we have before, and considering there never really has been a "slow" time, I am pretty impressed. She is a really strong person to deal with the constant crap I dish out on a regular basis. I count myself truly lucky to have her.

I am going to go see Miss Saigon on thursday!!! Erin and I had bought tickets like a month ago, invited a couple friends, they couldn't go, so now my parents are coming. In case anybody is wondering, my parents are fantastic people so I am pretty positive I am gonna have a great time.

In other news I have the next two days off!! What should I do with my time... I guess I will just work. My store is kinda in shambles right now after inventory, there is so much work that needs to get done, so I am gonna wander into my store tomorrow and just work at making it look pretty again. I have some new organizational ideas I am gonna try out, plus I just put in a massive supply order so I should have all sorts of new toys to play with... considering I am leaving soon (hopefully) you may be asking why I am doing all this... well that is partly because I am hoping to be on their good graces when I leave so that if I have to I may be able to pick up some part time hours there or at hollywood video. Besides, it is better to leave a good impression behind. and on top of that, this is the longest I have wanted to stay at a job in quite some time. I just want them to know what they will be missing :)

Ok well I guess that is all for today, considering the frequency of my posts, you can all expect a new one the twelfth of never. Hopefully when I get this new job, I will have more freetime to do this stuff. Take care!!

Dennis

So I was gonna post...

But the post I wrote up is not appropriate for this kind of forum. It has some resolutions in it, that I want to do first before I say I am going to do it publicly. You will know when I have actually pulled it off.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like re-writing information, so you guys are stuck reading a post with nothing in it. I am sorry.

Dennis Lynn

Boring post.

Ok, doing my boring post...

posting about boring stuff...

this is how exciting my life is...

ta da!!

Dennis Lynn

hmm...

Excellent point.

That last entry...

I just realized, reading over that last entry, I am incredibly fatalistic.

Maybe you can tell me, have I always been that way and just never chose to realize it?

Maybe I would like a comment or two on this one.

Dennis Lynn