A dream re-visited.

So when I was in highschool, all I wanted to do was be on stage. To accomplish that, I was in every concievable choir, every band, and every musical I could be in. I spent a lot of my highschool career on stage. Then I graduated, which didn't end things, I still did 3 more shows, was in a choir, and was in Celebration twice. Now, I do nothing. I don't sing, I don't dance, I don't direct, I work at a freakin' game store.

Something went terribly wrong.

I am not sure what switched off for me, mabye it was just a realization that I am not good enough to do this kinda thing. Maybe I thought after all those years I still needed to do more. Maybe I sold myself short because I never took a regular voice lesson. Whatever the reasoning, I stopped doing theater.

I went and saw Miss Saigon tonight. It was pretty phenomenal. I was pretty moved actually. There were some things that went wrong, some bad singing, but all in all it was really fun to watch. The girl who played Kim was amazing. All in all I really enjoyed the show.

Until I realized, that should be me. I should be on stage pouring my heart out every night. Then I started to think about it, there really is no good reason why I don't still perform. I could do community theater still, but I don't. I could be in a choir, but I am not. I could be doing anything at all, but I sit on my lazy ass and dream. I don't want to be a game store manager all my life. I want to be something better, I want to be a performer. This is probably the only dream I had when I was younger, to be on stage and move people the way music moves me. Somewhere down the line, I gave up on that dream. I don't care anymore, I am trying again...

I move into this new place in April, a place with a workout facility. I am going to work out at least 3 times a week, the goal, to drop at least 20 pounds of fat or at least convert it to good muscle mass. I am going to start taking voice lessons, the first time ever. I am going to go back to dance classes. I am going to make up a resume, and audition for everything. I am going to get another job and when that insurance kicks in, I am getting invisalign braces to take care of my gnarly teeth. In the next year I want to be a finely tuned musical instrument.

Anybody who knows me, knows I talk a lot of big game, and I never back it up. I think I can really do it this time, this is my dream, not just some hope that I have to better myself, this is it for me. I want people to see a side of me I haven't displayed in almost 3 years. I want my friends to see me do this, I want my parents to see me do this, I want my girlfriend to know a side of me she has never seen before.

I want to be the best.

That is all for now...

Dennis Lynn