How could this happen to me?

The untitled song by Simple Plan is not really appropriate in this situation, but is still a really good song. So there.

Well I am finally sleeping, well. I can eat full meals. I am not really depressed at this particular juncture. Life is in fact pretty good.

I got my eyes checked today, same RX but my eyes are dialated so it is hard to read the computer screen. Good news, I have contacts again!! It is only gonna cost me about 400 bucks for my glasses, including lenses. That sucks, apparently i am in no huge hurry for that purchase.

I am REALLY tan. I am almost african-american. All because of the best weekend ever!! well everything except for about 1 hour of it. And kivi was being dramatic. He keeps somehow forgetting that B.A.S. and slips every once in a while. Oh well he is only human.

I, on the other hand, have put off mortality and become devine. That is correct i am superman!! Well at least in my dream last night I was. Oh yeah which reminds me, full nights sleep = dreams. Whoa, didn't see that coming.

Ok and now for the depressing part of my entry. I have come to another startling realization. I am a dateable guy. Oooo weren't expecting that were you! well let me just add a little * to that. See below.

* - dateable to a point.

There comes a point in every single relationship i have ever had, where it just randomly stops. There is no reason for it, and it is almost always after we have a really really good time somewhere. Be it on a date, just hanging out, or we just hit a really high point in the relationship. Which leads me to this conclusion: I am one of the best friends a girl can have, i am understanding, i know their problems, i am always there for them, i feel their pain, and hold their hand through everything. I listen to their complaints about the guy that hurt them, i give them advice on a guy that is clearly an asshole but will have none of it, so i cautiously give them several plausible reasons why maybe dating that guy isn't a decision that they should make. Ultimately girls listen to me. It isn't my persuasive attitude, i just connect with them. I have more girl friends than guy friends.

All that being said, straight girls don't date girls. Being grouped into a female friend category puts me in a bad situation, either A. the girl doesn't date me because i am her friend, thus making me a girl to her, or B. she dates me because i connect with her on a level that she didn't think a guy could. At some time in that seemingly wonderful relationship, she realizes she only dated me because i was her best friend, then she asks herself, would she date her best girlfriend. Of course the answer to that is no. Now she realizes she loves me as her best girl friend and not as a boyfriend and I get fired off into the female friend pack again. All the while bewildered and with no reason why. I get no reason cause there is none, nothing has changed except for her realization that her love for me is that of a love towards a best friend and nothing more. Because of this there is no reason. That is why whenever i ask a girl for a reason why she stopped loving me so suddely they can give none because they haven't. Thus giving a whole new meaning to "I love you, but I am not in love with you." This is what was formerly the worst line a guy could here, fear not I have figured it out, she loves you, just not like she thought she did. Ta Da, another meaning solved "it wasn't you, it was me." see it isn't your fault, the girl just realized that you weren't a girl.

To recap, i will never have a serious meaningful relationship that lasts a long time. I am just to good of a friend. So guys, you don't have to be an asshole to get the girl, just stop being their friend. Pretend you don't get it when they are having guy problems. Pretend you don't understand when they are unhappy. That is the best way to a womans heart, be un-educated. In not understanding their problems you are ensuring yourself plenty of time to win her over with your personality, then it won't matter how good of a friend you are, she will love you for being a guy, who is learning quickly what its like to be a girl.

See that wasn't so depressing was it. I am impressed myself.

However i have spent so much time desperatly trying to understand the female psyche, hoping it would give me an advantage over the normal man, only to find out i have permenantly handicapped myslef.

Here is to the best girl friend ever.

Dennis Lynn